My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
