he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize