I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
