He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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