Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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