i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
