I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
