I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
