Just cropdusted the office
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
