He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My vagina is very pro this idea
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize