mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
wow bdsm is so cute
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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