My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
