The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
