Small penises have feelings too.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
