Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think I sprained my soul last night
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Can I color on your dick again?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
