My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
