If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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