Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dignity is for republicans.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
