Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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