I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
