thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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