we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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