So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
