I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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