That's intense
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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