Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
