Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
