I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
