Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize