so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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