Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
you never un-have a 4some
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
