I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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