Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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