she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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