so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize