Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
