I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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