eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
