I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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