For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize