I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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