Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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