I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
