It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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