Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
