Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
