That's intense
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
