I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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