Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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