Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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