the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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