just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Best friends brother. Beat that.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
