i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
