Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
