That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize