I just cut my nipple shaving
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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