I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
