He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
