Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i believe in u and ur pee
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
