too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
