forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
