Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
