non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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