is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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