Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
