Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
