I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
